


Amelia in Whonderland

by Flimflamflummox



Category: Alice In Wonderland - Lewis Carroll, Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Crossover, Dalekterpillar, Gen, Weirdness, slight bad language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-27
Updated: 2015-04-26
Packaged: 2018-03-25 23:20:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3828643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flimflamflummox/pseuds/Flimflamflummox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>"What have I done?" -the author<em></em></em>
</p><p> </p><p>In which young Amelia Pond follows a White Rabbit named Jack through a crack in time and discovers a very strange place indeed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Amelia in Whonderland

**Author's Note:**

> VERY heavily based on Lewis Carroll's story, which is archived at Project Gutenberg.

Amelia was beginning to get very tired of the crack in her wall. Her aunt always said that it was nothing to worry about, but Amelia knew better, because at night she heard voices.

So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could, for the fear-saturated insomnia made it quite hard to think), whether it would be worth it to wake up her aunt again, when suddenly a White Rabbit with a World War II coat ran by her.

Amelia found this curious enough, especially when she heard the Rabbit say to itself, 'I am SO gonna be late!' but when the Rabbit actually took a strange-looking watch out of its coat-pocket (she learned later it was called a Vortex Manipulator) and looked at it, and then hurried on, Amelia started to her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had never before seen a rabbit with either a coat-pocket, or a watch to take out of it, and burning with curiosity, she watched as it charged right into the crack in her wall and disappeared.

Amelia decided that if he could enter, so could she, and set about examining the crack, which immediately enveloped her in a great white light. Suddenly, Amelia felt as though she was falling. She fell very slowly, so she had plenty of time as she went down to look about her and to wonder what was going to happen next. First, she tried to look down and see where she would land, but it was too bright to see anything; then she looked to the side, and noticed cupboards and book-shelves; here and there she saw maps and pictures hung upon pegs. She took down a jar from one of the shelves as she passed; it was labelled 'CUSTARD', but to her great disappointment it contained not only custard, but also fish sticks (she thought it quite the peculiar mixture): she did not drop the jar for fear of killing somebody, and managed to put it into one of the cupboards that she fell past.

Down, down, down. Would the fall never come to an end! 'I wonder how many miles I've fallen by this time?' she said aloud. 'I must be getting somewhere near the centre of the earth. Probably. I've no idea.' For Amelia was not one for paying attention in class, except when they were learning about the Romans. She liked the Romans. 

Presently she began again. 'Maybe I'll fall straight through the earth! I could end up in Rome! (Amelia had not paid much attention in Geography either) Of course, I'll have to ask them where I am just to be sure. I can just see some crotchety old woman scowling at me and calling me ignorant. Well, I just won't ask any old women. If I'm in Rome, there'll be lots of hot Italian guys to talk to! Asking where I am could actually be a great conversation starter!'

Down, down, down. She felt that she was dozing off, and had just begun to dream that her friend Rory was a hot Roman when suddenly, thump! thump! down she came upon a heap of sticks and dry leaves, and the fall was over.

Amelia was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up on to her feet in a moment: she looked up, but it was all dark overhead; before her was another long passage, and the White Rabbit was still in sight, hurrying down it. There was not a moment to be lost: away went Alice like the wind, and was just in time to hear it say, as it turned a corner, 'How can a Time Agent be late? I'll never live this down!' She was close behind it when she turned the corner, but the Rabbit was no longer there: she found herself in a long, low hall, which was lit up by a row of lamps hanging from the roof.

There were doors all round the hall, but they were all locked; and when Amelia had been all the way down one side and up the other, trying every door, she walked sadly down the middle, wondering how she would ever get out again. 

Suddenly she came upon a little three-legged table, all made of solid glass; there was nothing on it except a tiny golden key, and Amelia's first thought was that it might belong to one of the doors in the hall; but, alas! either the locks were too large, or the key was too small, but at any rate it would not open any of them. However, on the second time round, she came upon a low curtain she had not noticed before, and behind it was a little door about fifteen inches high: she tried the little golden key in the lock, and to her great delight it fitted!

Amelia opened the door and found that it led into a small passage, not much larger than a rat-hole: she knelt down and looked along the passage into a lovely garden. How she longed to get out of that dark hall, and wander about among those beds of bright flowers and those cool fountains, but she could not even get her head through the doorway; 'and even if my head would go through,' thought poor Amelia, 'it would be of very little use without my shoulders. I wish I could shrink! Och, if I knew how, I probably could!' For, you see, so many strange things had happened lately, that Amelia had begun to think that very few things indeed were really impossible.

There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little door, so she went back to the table, half hoping she might find another key on it, or at any rate a book of rules for shrinking: this time she found a little bottle on it, ('where's all this shit coming from?' she asked herself, for she was beginning to get very frustrated indeed) and round the neck of the bottle was a paper label, with the words 'DRINK ME' printed on it in large letters.

It was all very well to say 'Drink me,' but the wise little Amelia was not going to do that in a hurry. No, she'd look first, and see whether it was marked 'poison' or not; for she had read several nice little histories about children who had got burnt, and eaten up by wild beasts and other unpleasant things, all because they would not remember the simple rules their friends had taught them: such as, that a red-hot poker will burn you if you hold it too long; and that if you cut your finger very deeply with a knife, it usually bleeds; and she had never forgotten that, if you drink much from a bottle marked 'poison,' it is almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or later.

However, this bottle was not marked 'poison,' so Amelia ventured to taste it, and finding it very nice, (it had, in fact, a sort of mixed flavour of apples, yogurt, bacon, baked beans, and toast,) she soon finished it off.

'Woah, weird!' said Amelia; 'Am I actually shrinking?'  
And so it was indeed: she was now only ten inches high, and her face brightened up at the thought that she was now the right size for going through the little door into that lovely garden. Perhaps it would have been logical to wait a bit longer and see if she shrunk any further, but Amelia despised logic, and decided on going into the garden at once; but, alas for poor Amelia! when she got to the door, she found she had forgotten the little golden key, and when she went back to the table for it, she found she could not possibly reach it: she could see it quite plainly through the glass, and she tried her best to climb up one of the legs of the table, but it was too slippery. Had she been a little English girl, perhaps Amelia would have cried, but she was Scottish, dammit! 

Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under the table: she opened it, and found in it a very small cake, on which the words 'EAT ME' were beautifully marked in currants. 'Bossy bit of pastry, aren't you?' Amelia asked, but she did as it said all the same.

She ate a little bit, and was quite surprised to find that she remained the same size: to be sure, this generally happens when one eats cake, but Amelia had got so used to strange occurrences, that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on in the common way.  
So she set to work, and very soon finished off the cake.


End file.
